Do I Want Chocolate or Lemon Meringue?

I was asked a question several months ago, "Did Jesus have a choice to
sacrifice himself?" Before a suggested response can be given to that
question, we need to think about the word "choice."

Choice, free will, decision, liberty, freedom, et al. are all relatives that
express essentially the same idea with minor nuances. Though I may use these
words interchangeably within this essay, I have a common definition for all
of the words. Before I mention my definition, I wish to contrast first how
the words are typically used and the connotations with them.

At the lowest level of meaning the words express the idea of choosing
between alternatives. Though I will typically illustrate a choice as being
between two alternatives, I am aware that there may be a number of
alternatives to choose from as well as the possibility that there are groups
of things as well as single things to choose between.

This definition does not go far enough because we can immediately create
situations that conflict with an underlying motif of these words. The motif
I am referring to is coercion or force. For instance, a supervisor might say
to an employee, "It's your choice. Either you work overtime this weekend, or
you can look for another job." Even though alternatives are being offered so
that a choice can be made, neither are choices that the employee wishes to
choose, for the employee wishes neither to work on the weekend or to lose
his job. He is being forced to make a choice.

There would be no conflict if one of the choices was a desired choice.
Suppose the supervisor had said, "Either you take this pay raise, or you are
fired." Assuming that the employee truly wants the pay raise and there are
no negatives to it and he does not wish to lose his job, then there is no
real coercion. A similar situation occurs with me on a somewhat frequent
regularity. Sometimes my wife will ask my preference for the main course of
a meal. She might ask, "Would you like chicken or fish?" Though I will eat
fish, it will be the last of my choices. I never choose fish at a buffet. My
usual response to her is, "Well, do I want chocolate or lemon meringue pie?"
What do I mean by that? I love chocolate and hate lemon meringue. To me
there is not choice except to choose chocolate.

It appears to be a choice because there are two alternatives; however,
desire or preference adds an extra factor, in fact, a rather critical one.
When we reflect on the issue, we realize rather quickly that we will choose
our desire if no influence, pressure, or force is placed upon us. Indeed we
are often puzzled when someone does not choose what we know to be his
desire. I may ask my wife, "Would you like to walk around the house and look
at the flowers?" Asking her that question is equivalent to asking most
people if they would like one million dollars with no catches. If she would
say "No," then I would be surprised and ask why.

Of course when we have to decide between two desires then a type of conflict
arises, but the conflict is not coercion. The conflict is really no more
than deciding which of two desires do I prefer at that moment.

As you think on the arguments of the previous paragraphs, you will see three
patterns: 1) alternatives in which the subject has no desire for either, 2)
alternatives in which the subject has a desire for one of them, and 3)
alternatives in which the subject has a desire for both of them. Only the
first example is an illustration of coercion. Though some sort of conflict
could exist psychologically or emotionally for the second one or third one,
coercion still would not be the issue.

Yet, there is still a problem with choice. It has to do with desire. Let me
ask a simple question, "Do you truly choose your desires?" I am not asking
if you choose according to your desires, but I am asking if you actually
choose your desires.

This is difficult to illustrate with adults, but it is very easy to
illustrate with children. I remember the first time that my son was given
ice cream. He had no idea what it was. His grandmother offered him a bite of
it. After tasting it he wanted more. Do you think that my son actually
thought, "I have decided to like ice cream, and I want more." He did not
decide to like it; he simply did.

As our experiences accumulate we often decide ahead of time if we will like
something based on analogy. For instance, someone might ask us if we would
like to try a taste of alligator. Assuming we are not bothered with the idea
of the meat being an alligator, we might ask, "What does it taste like?" The
person replies, "Pork." If you don't like pork, you will probably decide not
to even try it. How many times have you been challenged with the words "how
do you know if you'll like it or not if you haven't even tried it?"

A phrase I will often use is "We do not choose our desires, but our desires
choose us." Often we may even surprise ourselves about something that we
like and afterwards desire. Although the first time might be considered a
choice, how much of a choice is it when we are simply choosing based on
natural desire? It seems we are flying on autopilot. Think of all the things
that we do every day based on habit or natural desire. Where is choice and
free will? It appears they have dozed off somewhere.

Though we like to believe that our free will is what distinguishes us from
animals, what is the difference between our choices and animals' choices
when both are choosing based on natural desire? The only difference that I
can see is that animals within a species instinctively respond to what they
eat. The natural desires are built in to start with; in contrast to that, we
gradually learn what our desires are. Like an animal, however, once the
desire is in place we respond to it as intuitively as an animal does to its
desires.

Ironically the difficultly that we often incur is that our desires get out
of control. Is there really a need for me to ask why the majority of our
population is overweight? How many times have you scolded yourself for

eating too much, watching too much TV, surfing too much online, or doing too
much of anything? Not only do our desires choose us, but we soon learn that
our desires also control us.

It seems to me that there are only three instances in which we truly exert
free will. The first one has already been illustrated: when we first choose
between two neutral alternatives. Depending on our background we may be
influenced by our previous experiences so that neutral alternatives become
less and less as we grow older. Yet, choosing between two neutral
alternatives does seem to be an exercise of free will.

The second instance has been alluded to: when we choose an inward standard
as opposed to a natural desire. The inward desire might be "the best thing
for me to do." I know that the best thing for me, based on reports and
statistics that I have read, is to keep my body weight within a certain range
based on my height and frame size. So, when my desire is to dip up a second
or third helping of ice cream, I may have an inward conflict with my inward
standard. I know what I want, and I know what is best for me. Unfortunately
I know I have a choice at that time, and it is giving into the desire that
creates guilt.

Certainly the inward standard may have been created by my parents and my
culture. Still we believe that we have the ability to choose to believe
otherwise. Without question the setting aside of long established beliefs
for new ones can be emotionally traumatic; however, we still believe we can
do that if we choose.

Along with the inward standard of "what is best for me," another common
standard is "what is right and wrong." As in the last paragraph this
standard is initially created by our parents and culture. Also we continue
to believe we can change this. Our standard of right and wrong can be
modified. Whatever the inward standard happens to be that we are measuring
our desires against, then that is the moment in which free will can be exercised.

The third instance of our exercising our free will appears to occur when we
consciously and deliberately change our thinking from what it is to what we
think it should be. For instance, I may be very angry with someone. In my
thinking I am tearing that person to shreds. My words and arguments are
overwhelming them, perhaps even humiliating them. I am definitely getting
even. While thinking these things the thoughts also come to my mind, "Love
your neighbor ... do good to those that hate you ... do not let the sun go
down on your wrath."

This is very similar to the last situation except everything is occurring
within our minds. Outwardly others might think we're doing fine. Of course,
our thinking does not have to be limited to anger. It can be any thinking
that is contrary to our inward standard. As a Christian our inward standards
should be based on Christ and the Scriptures.

Though we may find it very hard not to continue in certain thoughts, we,
nevertheless, know that we should not. The problem is not the struggle
anymore than the problem is the struggle between eating more ice cream or
not eating more. The problem is when the struggle stops and the decision is
made to eat more ice cream, or to continue to think bad thoughts about the
other person.

We are well aware that as we continue to violate the inward standard the
harder it is for us to follow it. Once I lie, then it is easier to lie a
second time. Once I stay mad at someone, the easier it is to stay mad for a
longer period of time. Once I indulge in mental lust, then the easier it is
to entertain those thoughts.

Regardless how we say we cannot think otherwise, deep within we do believe
we can think otherwise. Also as Christians we have the promise that the Holy
Spirit will help us in our weakness.

This essay began with a question: "Did Jesus have a choice to sacrifice
himself?" The answer is “yes;” but it is much more than a simple alternative.
The Bible teaches that Jesus was tempted as we are. From this essay a
temptation may be defined as an opportunity to fulfill a desire that is
contrary to an inward standard, particularly if that standard is right and
wrong.

Jesus chose the inward standard every time. If one time he had chosen the
temptation, which might have seemed neutral or pleasing to the eyes, He
would have created a desire that could have controlled Him; and He
definitely would have weakened His ability to follow the inward standard.

Do we have free will? Yes, we do but the real battle is not the physical
alternatives that we face every day. Most of what we do is by habit or
desire. The real battle for free will is in the mind. Do we follow our
desires when they conflict with our inward standard? Do we continue to think
improper thoughts when they conflict with our inward standard? It is there
on the battlefield of the mind that free will truly takes place and can
control our actions.

Do not be misled that free will is choosing a pleasure or between pleasures.
Even bugs do that. The real struggle occurs when you know you should say “no”
... to that 3rd helping ... to those mean thoughts ... to watching another
hour of TV. That's the battle. The battle is not to choose between
chocolate or meringue. The battle is whether to choose either when we know
we shouldn't.

Jesus' desire was to avoid the cross, but He chose the right thing. Aren't
you glad He did! What might happen in our lives and our influence if we do
as He?